" now that im here your lives just got worse" no no no thats not right " now that im here your lives just got a little bit better
EPIC FAIL
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
More Cats (Unintentional)
I was walking around to get the marchathon pledges for marching band, m'kay?
I went to one of the people that chose to support me and they had a cat on their front porch. It was white and gray and it pretty much looked like a demon cat by the way it looked at me.
Anyways
Before I knocked on the door I petted it a little bit and I was like "pretty kitty!" and my brother was with me too, forgot to tell you that.
A little kid was running across the street screaming. I recognized him as one of the owners children so I waved. He smiled and started talking to my brother (who was having quite a difficult time on the skateboard, being 75 degrees and shorts and short sleeves on it was WAy too hot.).
Another one of her kids opens the door and I asked for his mom. He went to go get her. The cat started to try to get into the house. I blocked it with my hand.
"Uh, is the cat supposed to go into the house?" I asked the little kid. I thought it could so I let it go.
"NO! IT'S NOT A CAT!!!" the little kid screamed and was chased indoors by another one of his brothers. "MOM IT GOT IN!" as the cat bolted downstairs. I simply gawked at my brother who was laughing so hard he was almost crying.
She told me she was going to pay me the next day, not listening to my warnings that the cat (it really did look like a cat, I swear) had gotten inside of her home. I was laughing so hard that I just agreed and walked away.
It was so funny.
I went to one of the people that chose to support me and they had a cat on their front porch. It was white and gray and it pretty much looked like a demon cat by the way it looked at me.
Anyways
Before I knocked on the door I petted it a little bit and I was like "pretty kitty!" and my brother was with me too, forgot to tell you that.
A little kid was running across the street screaming. I recognized him as one of the owners children so I waved. He smiled and started talking to my brother (who was having quite a difficult time on the skateboard, being 75 degrees and shorts and short sleeves on it was WAy too hot.).
Another one of her kids opens the door and I asked for his mom. He went to go get her. The cat started to try to get into the house. I blocked it with my hand.
"Uh, is the cat supposed to go into the house?" I asked the little kid. I thought it could so I let it go.
"NO! IT'S NOT A CAT!!!" the little kid screamed and was chased indoors by another one of his brothers. "MOM IT GOT IN!" as the cat bolted downstairs. I simply gawked at my brother who was laughing so hard he was almost crying.
She told me she was going to pay me the next day, not listening to my warnings that the cat (it really did look like a cat, I swear) had gotten inside of her home. I was laughing so hard that I just agreed and walked away.
It was so funny.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
A tale of Toothpaste
One particular day, when the sun was bright in the land of...You Don't Need To Know, a girl and her family were traveling to some forgotten destination. The family had been in the car ride for quite some time and everyone was getting grossed out about each other's hygiene (or something like this. Her father may have just been driving to work or something early in the morning.) and her father decided that driving down the freeway at seventy miles per hour was a good time to start brushing his teeth.
He brushed and he brushed and soon his teeth were sparkling clean, like the marble of a King's foyer floor.
As you probably realize, there is hardly space in a car to spit out one's used toothpaste matter. He rolled down the window and spit the "crud" out still going highway speeds on a summer day.
Unbeknownst to the girl's father, the girl's window directly behind him was also rolled down.
The girl got a good helping of her father's used toothpaste.
The end.
He brushed and he brushed and soon his teeth were sparkling clean, like the marble of a King's foyer floor.
As you probably realize, there is hardly space in a car to spit out one's used toothpaste matter. He rolled down the window and spit the "crud" out still going highway speeds on a summer day.
Unbeknownst to the girl's father, the girl's window directly behind him was also rolled down.
The girl got a good helping of her father's used toothpaste.
The end.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Of Romance
This post is about how someone can lead you on to believe that you are in love, in fact you positively know that you are to be with that person for the rest of your life, and then they turn around, shoot you with a mini gun that is mounted to the roof of the SUV that you bought for them (and you didn't even KNOW about the mini gun until it was WAY too late) and then they get out of the SUV and they walk over to where they practically carved your heart out, they take that and they smash it on the gravel. Uh, yeah, kinda gross isn't it? (That was the longest run-on sentence I have ever created. Wow.)
Point of the metaphor: Be careful. Your heart will get broken at one point because someone will be too careless with your feelings and basically do the above, but in a much more humane manner, like a text message or a call. And when it does happen, you'll know how to stitch yourself back up again and get those bullet holes removed.
Point of the metaphor: Be careful. Your heart will get broken at one point because someone will be too careless with your feelings and basically do the above, but in a much more humane manner, like a text message or a call. And when it does happen, you'll know how to stitch yourself back up again and get those bullet holes removed.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
We're bored so...
First off, this last week of school thing is a terrible idea. There's like two classes the entir day and the rest is just making up grades. My GPA is at 3.75. Not the best because I can get an A...
RAMBLING FAILS. Jeez, you people don't care. You see, Darth Raven is supposed to be helping me write this, but he's not. He's playing on maxgames.com, playing the viking thing...?
Yeah. Here's my poem that I wrote in 20 seconds.
You know me.
I know you a little.
I know when you go to the doctor
I know when you go to the dentist
I know the birthdays of all your relatives,
Or at least the ones you care about.
You are made of structure and blood.
I am of boxes and numbers.
We are an exchange of information.
We are the set of interconnected time.
I know when your dog needs to go to the vet
I know when and where your next vacation will be.
I can follow you on your cell phone
No one is smarter than me.
I predict your future very well
I know your most important things.
Your life is written across mine.
Your years are shorter than mine.
Who am I?
Time can only bring the pages of my new life.
The past rips my body down.
You care only for the future.
And I am willing.
Who am I?
RAMBLING FAILS. Jeez, you people don't care. You see, Darth Raven is supposed to be helping me write this, but he's not. He's playing on maxgames.com, playing the viking thing...?
Yeah. Here's my poem that I wrote in 20 seconds.
You know me.
I know you a little.
I know when you go to the doctor
I know when you go to the dentist
I know the birthdays of all your relatives,
Or at least the ones you care about.
You are made of structure and blood.
I am of boxes and numbers.
We are an exchange of information.
We are the set of interconnected time.
I know when your dog needs to go to the vet
I know when and where your next vacation will be.
I can follow you on your cell phone
No one is smarter than me.
I predict your future very well
I know your most important things.
Your life is written across mine.
Your years are shorter than mine.
Who am I?
Time can only bring the pages of my new life.
The past rips my body down.
You care only for the future.
And I am willing.
Who am I?
Monday, May 17, 2010
The 10 Commandments of Epic Failing!
Haha, Sam.
Now for the 10 commandments of Epic Failing!
1. You do something moronically stupid
EX: "I wonder what this button does..."
2. Putting something in a gun that is really not supposed to be put into a gun.
EX: Almost any gun myth on Mythbusters (Mythbusters does NOT fail).
3. Something that is said or done without thinking.
EX: Obama passing the healthcare bill
4. Your name is Barrack Heussein Obama and happens to be the most powerful man in the world.
EX: Osama Bin Laden. Close enough.
5. You have a personality as Perciful Blakley (AKA The brattiest bird in the world (he is a good biter, though.))
EX: Perciful Blakley
6. You name something that is completely correct, to something that sounds plain old awful.
EX: Horsley Orthodontics, Payne Orthodontics (no offense. I hear Payne is pretty good...I guess.)
7. You use grammar incorrectly, or the entire English language incorrectly for that matter.
EX: It be two lait too ate sum frid chikn wid u iz funy>.
8. Clothing.
EX: Boys wearing their pants too low, girls wearing their shirts WAY too low, girls wearing too tight clothes, or basically anything that makes a real person feel uncomfortable looking at. Etc.
9. Saying something that you meant to say in a completely different way.
EX: "I sure hope we spelled this wrong!"
10. Drama
EX: I heard from him who heard her say to him that, "I frikin HATE YOU!" And they're, like, supposed to be going out, ya know? *chomps her gum*
Now for the 10 commandments of Epic Failing!
1. You do something moronically stupid
EX: "I wonder what this button does..."
2. Putting something in a gun that is really not supposed to be put into a gun.
EX: Almost any gun myth on Mythbusters (Mythbusters does NOT fail).
3. Something that is said or done without thinking.
EX: Obama passing the healthcare bill
4. Your name is Barrack Heussein Obama and happens to be the most powerful man in the world.
EX: Osama Bin Laden. Close enough.
5. You have a personality as Perciful Blakley (AKA The brattiest bird in the world (he is a good biter, though.))
EX: Perciful Blakley
6. You name something that is completely correct, to something that sounds plain old awful.
EX: Horsley Orthodontics, Payne Orthodontics (no offense. I hear Payne is pretty good...I guess.)
7. You use grammar incorrectly, or the entire English language incorrectly for that matter.
EX: It be two lait too ate sum frid chikn wid u iz funy>.
8. Clothing.
EX: Boys wearing their pants too low, girls wearing their shirts WAY too low, girls wearing too tight clothes, or basically anything that makes a real person feel uncomfortable looking at. Etc.
9. Saying something that you meant to say in a completely different way.
EX: "I sure hope we spelled this wrong!"
10. Drama
EX: I heard from him who heard her say to him that, "I frikin HATE YOU!" And they're, like, supposed to be going out, ya know? *chomps her gum*
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Need Song ideas!
Hey, I'm creating a playlist for Epic Fail! It's going to be playing on here when you come. I want to include songs that bag on other things, such as Valentines Day Is Stupid by Kaleb Nation. Hilarious, bags on things, and appropriate. Please comment your ideas and wants! Please, no Miley Cyrus. For the grace of all that is epic!!
2-19-10
This is John. John says "hi". This is John when a trash can comes by and he happens to have a piece of garbage in his hand he wishes to throw away.Epic fail.
Obesity
It's a given why I decided to put this upon the blog. Another day in the library without any books with pages or words...2-17-10
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Regarding the Mac
Dear Mac: I can admit that you are a sleek looking computer. Hey, you even have a glowing, half-eaten fruit on your screen. You are very good with artistic elements like photoshop or music stuff, but...I don't do that.Hey! I'm a local businessman and I bought a Mac for my birthday. (By the way, could you lower the price by...a lot? I couldn't get anything else for my birthday, and this is turning out to be a piece of junk!). I want my refund back.
I can never find my files.
I don't understand the importance of a huge collapsable toolbar near the bottom of the screen that jumps over my document everytime I put my mouse there to get it out of the way while I'm reading something extremely important from my boss.
I really don't care that you think your computers are easier. They're not.
I was taught in school using PCs. This isn't really working. I hate it.
Get out of my life, Mac.
~Anonymously Annoyed.
P.S. I won't even get started on the iTouch!!!!
Nazi Fun at School!!! Hooray!!!
WELL It's Freedome week at my school, and as you can see, there is a poster of the nazi symbol. It says "Freedom will overcome evil." Many people have debated over this poster, whether it is correct or not. It was torn down today, so I am guessing it was not. I managed to get these with my friends. This fails epically :P obviously.
Oh, gosh.
This boy knows his nazis!Have a good day!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
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