Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
More Cats (Unintentional)
I was walking around to get the marchathon pledges for marching band, m'kay?
I went to one of the people that chose to support me and they had a cat on their front porch. It was white and gray and it pretty much looked like a demon cat by the way it looked at me.
Anyways
Before I knocked on the door I petted it a little bit and I was like "pretty kitty!" and my brother was with me too, forgot to tell you that.
A little kid was running across the street screaming. I recognized him as one of the owners children so I waved. He smiled and started talking to my brother (who was having quite a difficult time on the skateboard, being 75 degrees and shorts and short sleeves on it was WAy too hot.).
Another one of her kids opens the door and I asked for his mom. He went to go get her. The cat started to try to get into the house. I blocked it with my hand.
"Uh, is the cat supposed to go into the house?" I asked the little kid. I thought it could so I let it go.
"NO! IT'S NOT A CAT!!!" the little kid screamed and was chased indoors by another one of his brothers. "MOM IT GOT IN!" as the cat bolted downstairs. I simply gawked at my brother who was laughing so hard he was almost crying.
She told me she was going to pay me the next day, not listening to my warnings that the cat (it really did look like a cat, I swear) had gotten inside of her home. I was laughing so hard that I just agreed and walked away.
It was so funny.
I went to one of the people that chose to support me and they had a cat on their front porch. It was white and gray and it pretty much looked like a demon cat by the way it looked at me.
Anyways
Before I knocked on the door I petted it a little bit and I was like "pretty kitty!" and my brother was with me too, forgot to tell you that.
A little kid was running across the street screaming. I recognized him as one of the owners children so I waved. He smiled and started talking to my brother (who was having quite a difficult time on the skateboard, being 75 degrees and shorts and short sleeves on it was WAy too hot.).
Another one of her kids opens the door and I asked for his mom. He went to go get her. The cat started to try to get into the house. I blocked it with my hand.
"Uh, is the cat supposed to go into the house?" I asked the little kid. I thought it could so I let it go.
"NO! IT'S NOT A CAT!!!" the little kid screamed and was chased indoors by another one of his brothers. "MOM IT GOT IN!" as the cat bolted downstairs. I simply gawked at my brother who was laughing so hard he was almost crying.
She told me she was going to pay me the next day, not listening to my warnings that the cat (it really did look like a cat, I swear) had gotten inside of her home. I was laughing so hard that I just agreed and walked away.
It was so funny.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
A tale of Toothpaste
One particular day, when the sun was bright in the land of...You Don't Need To Know, a girl and her family were traveling to some forgotten destination. The family had been in the car ride for quite some time and everyone was getting grossed out about each other's hygiene (or something like this. Her father may have just been driving to work or something early in the morning.) and her father decided that driving down the freeway at seventy miles per hour was a good time to start brushing his teeth.
He brushed and he brushed and soon his teeth were sparkling clean, like the marble of a King's foyer floor.
As you probably realize, there is hardly space in a car to spit out one's used toothpaste matter. He rolled down the window and spit the "crud" out still going highway speeds on a summer day.
Unbeknownst to the girl's father, the girl's window directly behind him was also rolled down.
The girl got a good helping of her father's used toothpaste.
The end.
He brushed and he brushed and soon his teeth were sparkling clean, like the marble of a King's foyer floor.
As you probably realize, there is hardly space in a car to spit out one's used toothpaste matter. He rolled down the window and spit the "crud" out still going highway speeds on a summer day.
Unbeknownst to the girl's father, the girl's window directly behind him was also rolled down.
The girl got a good helping of her father's used toothpaste.
The end.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Of Romance
This post is about how someone can lead you on to believe that you are in love, in fact you positively know that you are to be with that person for the rest of your life, and then they turn around, shoot you with a mini gun that is mounted to the roof of the SUV that you bought for them (and you didn't even KNOW about the mini gun until it was WAY too late) and then they get out of the SUV and they walk over to where they practically carved your heart out, they take that and they smash it on the gravel. Uh, yeah, kinda gross isn't it? (That was the longest run-on sentence I have ever created. Wow.)
Point of the metaphor: Be careful. Your heart will get broken at one point because someone will be too careless with your feelings and basically do the above, but in a much more humane manner, like a text message or a call. And when it does happen, you'll know how to stitch yourself back up again and get those bullet holes removed.
Point of the metaphor: Be careful. Your heart will get broken at one point because someone will be too careless with your feelings and basically do the above, but in a much more humane manner, like a text message or a call. And when it does happen, you'll know how to stitch yourself back up again and get those bullet holes removed.
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